Fast Food Woes

I still laugh and tell people this story!

So this memory came up on my Timehop app this morning, and got me thinking...I have a lot of fast food stories! Bahaha! (Maybe that's why I'm so chubby, eh?) They are mostly funny (although some of them didn't seem so at the time). This one in particular was hilarious, to me, because I was mainly an observer! HAHA!

So, when my daughter was about 4 years old, my cousin and I lived in the same trailer park. (Literally, right across from each other) So we would pretty much always go places together and be at each other's houses. This day, we decided we were going to go grab some lunch at Arby's and then go to a rent-to-own place to make a payment. It had been a snowy, icy week and the drive thru hadn't been cleared off as well as it could have been. So we are in this big mini van ordering our food and the the person tells us to pull around. My cousin steps on the gas pedal and the tires are just spinning in this ice. She's getting super mad and just keeps pressing down and wiggling the steering wheel trying to get out. I'm sitting in the passenger seat trying not to giggle...the whole time she's just freaking out. So finally, we get out of this ice rut and pull up to the window and she yells into it, "Uh, maybe you should get some one out here to get rid of this ice in your drive thru!" They are just like "Oh, okay..." and then proceeds to ask if she wants a sauce or something to which she replies "No, but I think you should give me gas money to make up for all the gas I just wasted trying to get out of your drive thru!" I'm sitting there like holy crap, she is freaking out on these people and as we drive away with our food I suddenly burst out laughing. I was like "Wow...that was a crazy experience" She was still mad, but by the time we got across town, she was laughing with me!

Then we are pulling up to the rent-to-own place and she's like "I just have to run in and make a payment, so I'm just gonna leave the car right here instead of going to park." (Next to this awning in front of the front door.) I'm sitting there after she goes in and a few seconds after I see another of my cousins and her husband coming out of the store next to it. So I roll the window down to say hey and we start talking. (Which is something we all like to do...a lot...) After quite a few minutes, I'm still waiting and still talking to my other cousin when suddenly I hear this weird sound. I look around and they hear it, too. I realized it was coming from above me and looked up in time to see a HUGE sheet of ice falling at me from the awning!! I was buckled in the passenger seat with the window down, so the only thing I could do was put my hands up in front of my face and lean towards the drivers side. It hit the side of the car and shattered. I had pieces of ice in my lap, on the ground around me and it even cracked the side mirror! All three of us are there mouths hanging open in shock and then suddenly we are all laughing hysterically. Shortly after my other cousin comes walking out the the store like "Oh, sorry that took so long, she kept talking to me" I'm all, yeah? Well...I ALMOST DIED OUT HERE!!! I told her what happened and then we all sat there and just laughed so hard. We still talk about that all the time...the day my cousin almost murdered me because she didn't want to park in the parking lot because she "wouldn't be very long".

I always have weird things like that happen to me...several times in my life I have expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I'm punked or have some one bring me a wad of cash because I've just won boiling point! For example...a while back my husband and I were out shopping while the kids were in school. We decided we were going to get something to eat. Just like all the funny memes you see, we are the "Where do you want to eat?" "I don't know." people. But that day...I knew. So we went to Long John Silvers. Unlike normal people, I go to LJS for the chicken! I LOVE THEIR CHICKEN! So much that I always add two pieces of chicken to my meal when I go (again..hence the chubbiness). Usually we are drive thru people, but hey, we don't have the kids. Let's live a little and eat inside!! We walk in and there is maybe two people, besides us, dining there. One is in line in front of us, the other sitting at a table. The person in front of us finishes ordering and we step up to the register. Now, my husband always makes me order (I don't know why) so I walk up and look at the lady and she immediately looks down. So, she is standing there, looking down with her finger hovering over the screen in front of her. It appears like something is going on with the monitor and she is trying to figure it out. So I stand there and politely wait. And wait...and wait...and wait... I look to my husband and he's like "Are you gonna order??" So I say "Well, I don't think she's ready..." So...we wait some more...finally a girl working behind her notices and watches for a few seconds and then says to the cashier "What button are you looking for?" To which the lady replies "None, I'm just waiting for them to order." WHAT??!! You mean you can't make eye contact and ask me for my order, even after you heard me say "I don't think she's ready." ?? Come on, lady. So we order, and when we get to my husbands order and she asks what he wants for a side, he tells her hush puppies. She says "It comes with hush puppies, do you want MORE hush puppies?" So he's like oh...let's make it onion rings then. Next, she leans down to the counter, grabs the microphone from the desk, just like in the movie Super Troupers ("Double baco-cheese...it's for a cop." BAHAHA) and says very somberly "...onion rings..." We look at each other like what the?? We finish, pay for our food and step aside...she tells us it will be a few minutes on the onion rings, we get the rest of our stuff and sit down in a booth. A few minutes later she comes out with the onion rings..."Onion rings? Who had the onion rings?" (remember, we are 1 of 3 guests in the restaurant...and were the guests she JUST CHECKED OUT) We wave her over and she walks away. And a few minutes later, she comes back..."Is everything okay here?" "Uh, yeah...thanks" ...this is not that kind of a restaurant, lady. I just want to eat my chicken in peace after you tried to make ME look like the idiot standing there in line like a mute. My husband is sitting there laughing his butt off at my aggravation...I'm still sitting there waiting for my money because I didn't freak out on this chick.

So you'd think I would not want to go back there for a while, right? Nope, apparently I'm a glutton for punishment. So a couple weeks later we are driving around while the kids are in school, get hungry and I decide I want LJS (..the chicken, y'all...mmm) again...he want's Taco Bell. So we go to LJS first only this time I'm like just go to the drive thru and let's get our stuff and go home. We pull up to the speaker "Hi, can I take your order?" "Yes, I'd like the chicken meal, add two pieces of chicken, with a Dr. Pepper, please." "@#$@%$%%#$%" (the speaker was all garbled) I sit there with my WTH? face and say "I'm sorry, what was that?" she comes back with "IS FRIES OKAY??!!" Shocked..because this lady is straight up yelling at me...I'm like "Uh...yeah!" (Doesn't if COME WITH FRIES?! Unless you specify otherwise?!) We start to pull around, and I'm truly ticked off now...ranting while my husband laughs, because he warned me about this place. "Who does she think she is?! Don't freakin' yell at me lady because your dang speaker is a piece of crap!" I'm just fuming...but I'm not going to start anything with this stranger who is handling my food. We get to the window and she has the nerve to glare down at ME! What?! You accosted me, lady...screw you! Give me my food so I can get out of here! We pull away and I'm still just yelling and ranting while he is laughing and driving to Taco Bell. I'm sitting there complaining that even going through a drive thru is crap now! As we pull up to the Taco Bell speaker and the girl says (in the most cheerful voice I've ever heard)) "Hi! How are you, today?!" *Face palm* My husband says "I'm great! How are you?!" ....screw you, buddy. I'm done!

Long John Silvers chicken...can't help it!

So, here I am...re-living these horrible LJS experiences and what am I thinking? 'I think I will ask him to stop and get me Long John Silvers on the way home from work today.' (Idiot) Well, that's all for today...hope y'all got a laugh out of my horror stories, HAHAHA! Stay weird, y'all!